RISE & RETURN – EDITION 3
Divorcing a Narcissist
2-minute read / By Lexi Ross / 17 November 2024
Early in my divorce journey, a pivotal phone call came from my son’s teacher. Her words still resonate with me, and I will forever be grateful for her insight. She asked me if I was familiar with the term narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and gently suggested that I investigate it. She was deeply concerned about my children’s father’s behaviour and, bless her heart, was worried about my son and me. As I delved into the depths of Google, I found myself alarmed and intrigued by what I discovered. Astonishment soon followed as I read article after article describing my situation with uncanny accuracy. It was a harsh awakening to the dark reality of divorcing a narcissist. I voraciously consumed every piece of information I could find on the subject. If you find yourself questioning whether you’re dealing with someone who suffers from NPD, a personality disorder that is notoriously difficult to treat, ask yourself these questions. If five or more resonate with you, there’s a strong likelihood you’re dealing with a narcissist:
Grandiosity and
Self-Importance
Sense of Specialness and Uniqueness
Fantasies of Perfection and Superiority
Strong Sense of Entitlement
Lack of Empathy
Jealousy, Envy, and Distrust
Arrogance and Scorn
A Pattern of Manipulating Others
Need for Praise and Attention
Navigating this subject is incredibly complex but know that you are not alone. As Dr Ramani, a leading expert on narcissism, says, “You’re going to war, and you have to be prepared for that.” This journey is challenging, and you must be mentally and emotionally ready.
1. Document Everything
Keep a detailed record of all interactions, including emails, text messages, and financial transactions. Narcissists often manipulate facts, so having solid evidence is crucial.
2. Minimise Direct Contact
Limit communication to written forms only (emails or messages) to avoid verbal manipulation. Consider using a co-parenting app to manage communications if children are involved.
3. Build a Strong Support Network
Surround yourself with professionals who understand narcissistic abuse, including a therapist, legal advisors, and trusted friends or family. Their support and guidance will be invaluable.
4. Stay Emotionally Detached
Narcissists thrive on emotional reactions. Practice mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques to remain calm and composed during interactions. This diminishes their control over you.
5. Prioritize Your Well-Being and build a strong framework for Emotional Healing
Focus on your own healing and self-care. Engage in activities that restore your sense of self, build resilience, and help you move forward from the trauma. Remember, your well-being is the foundation for your future.
Remember, reclaiming your peace and rediscovering yourself is possible.
Equip yourself with the right tools, seek the right support, and take proactive steps towards a healthier, more empowered you. Your journey to rediscovery and peace after divorce begins now.
If my story resonates with you, if you find yourself longing for that journey back to your true self, I invite you to join my waitlist for my signature course, “Return to Me: Pathway to Peace After Divorce.”
This course is designed to guide you through the process of rediscovering yourself, healing from the past, and embracing a future filled with hope and joy. Sign up today and take the first step towards finding peace and reclaiming your life.
You deserve to feel whole, happy, and confident in who you are. Join me on this transformative journey and let’s return to ourselves together